Hidden Enlightenment

I think daily, it's a new day

The right time to change is, perhaps today

But who am I kidding, for I know

in the evening, everything's the same as yesterday's evening

I see the light, a ray of hope

which tries to call me away from my dope

But so hard I tried, all was in vain

To myself I had lied, deep inside heart, it causes pain

Day after day, week after week
On the bed I lay, calling myself a coward and weak

I re-live my old time, days of glory
People who chose me more than just friend, now all turned into a story

I feel scared, something never experienced before
For I have no one on my back, have to continue alone

Tried hard to motivate, to put myself back on track
Maybe it's all connected to fate, it decides when I have to get back

For I tried so hard, nowadays I even am enraged
"Try this once", says my heart, but my head knew what I had waged

Only time knows, how long will this last
I want to end this now, but things weren't just meant to be

Until I wait and wait, till it ends finally!