My Inside is not on my Outside

Yet another day arrived,
But my mind struggles to survive.
For my problems persists
yet no solution exixts

1 month, I count on calender
my mind being caught in frustation
Still hoping to hear of a  miracle,
just as they did with the help of oracle.

Each day now that I live,
takes more from me than it gives

On the outside, I give you a smile
On the inside, being happy is really versatile
For my Inside is not on my outside

On the outside, I enjoy every single day
On the inside,  everything looks as dull as gray
For my inside is not on my outside

On the outside, I tell you I'm Happy
On the inside, I feel all crappy
For my inside is not on my outside

Each day I ask, what to do?
Only to come up with no answers. 
Now where to go, nothing I know

Yet my hope never diminish
For if it finishes,
I will be a walking dead,
living life from bed to work & from work to bed

No one to guide, but so hard I tried
Go away troubles, I want to live with pride!
Because of you, my inside is not same as my outside
All I want is, Make my inside same as my outside.